So... I got an anonymous care package. I got a bunch of cookies, candy, and trail mix and an encouraging note. Now I've been wracking my brain to know who it could be. All I know is that it was shipped from a Provo post office (no address except for my name and mailbox number) and it's probably from one of my facebook friends or family, someone who would have access to my address. In case you're reading this blog, whoever you are, thank you for making my day!
Also, I thought I'd talk a bit about the Holy Ghost. I've been amazed by how much the Holy Ghost has helped me, both with the language, and with teaching the gospel and seeing the needs of the investigators I teach. I kid you not when I say that has made up for all that I lack. I understand some of this comes with my calling as a missionary, but I hope I can keep the spirit with me throughout my life so I can see the needs of those I come in contact with and be more able to help them with whatever it is. Every time my companion and I are able to teach with the Spirit, it's a holy, almost temple experience. We are all enveloped in a warm peace and calm, and with clear minds, able to teach what we need to. I hope I can keep that with me, even when I get comfortable and fluent in Spanish.
Also, a lot of the fear I had about teaching investigators is leaving. It really is true that perfect love casteth out fear (1 John 4:18). Yes, the "investigators" I'm teaching are just teachers role playing but the personas they take on are of people that they met and taught on their missions. The love and the Spirit is real nonetheless.
Another interesting thing is that one of the hermanas in my district, along with the others to a lesser degree have taken to joking that I'm "perfect". I know I need to let it go, but I'm still hyper-aware that I'm really good at some things and terrible at others. And the things I'm terrible at are all beneath the surface. Yes, I'm picking up Spanish quickly and I easily remember where scriptures are, but I'm also standing in awe at the strengths of the other people in my district. I guess I'm hypersensitive about being called perfect because of all the scriptures that say "if ye have not charity ye are nothing". I wouldn't say I'm devoid of charity. I'm pretty nice and I help people out when I know what I can do to help. But I have a hard time seeing people's needs (at least without the help of the Spirit) and I think I almost have a phobia of people in distress... I still don't know how to "mourn with those that mourn". But perhaps my mission is the time to learn. At least in both my setting apart and a father's blessing right before I left, I was blessed with compassion. I'm interested to see what will happen, as I do my part and let Christ do His.
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