"What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"

So... my mom asked me some thought provoking questions. This is a shout out to the introverts, the shy, the timid, those who wonder if they have it in them to serve a mission or just get out there and serve those around you. Questions in bold.

 So, about you...In your last letter, you mentioned compassion and investing in folks. I can imagine that it's exhausting for you. Yes but not nearly as much as I thought. I don't even realize it anymore until you bring it up but I've been given so much strength on the mission. I have more energy for people and I'm not as uneasy around people as I used to be and I have almost no underarm sweat due to social nervousness ever since I started the mission. Nothing short of a miracle. Now I just hope that it continues after the mission. It would be hard to go back to who I used to be. It is for me, even though I love people and feel for them. I fear it will be harder for me after the mission when I can't devote all my energy to people like I can/do now. But I know that grace is real and that with His help I'll figure it out.  

What do you do to help break the ice with people and show compassion - especially when you don't have months to develop a relationship with them? As for breaking the ice, I still rely a lot on my companion to do that. I've been really blessed to always have companions that are more personable than I am. As for showing compassion, I do my best to listen, and tie what they say back to the gospel. I testify often of the Atonement and how there's always at least one person (Christ) who understands even if I don't. I make myself comfortable in their often poorer circumstances (I think they think I look like a rich girl, which I am relatively speaking). Also, I think that the fact that people can feel the Spirit when we walk in the room leads them to develop a relationship with us and tell us more than they might other people. So sometimes all we have to to is be sister missionaries and people will tell us their life stories, members and investigators alike. 

What strategies do you use to understand and be understood by your companions? 

I don't know if I call them strategies since I don't really have much spare time/alone time to strategize and sort through my thoughts. It helps a lot just to recognize that we're different and embrace it, and almost expect that we won't understand each other perfectly the first time. We take time to enjoy each other's strengths. I cook and help Sister George remember where scriptures are. She talks to everyone and asks lots of questions. We also have "companionship inventory" every week where we have a designated time and place to talk about our relationship and how we can strengthen it and what we need to do better. It's a good idea and I'd definitely want to put it in practice with my eternal companion.

Also, we had a zone conference this past friday. It was a great experience as always. But the one thing that stood out to me was a piece of stainless steel with the question "What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" Background information: One of the things that mission president Ames often says, ever since he went on his first mission is "Fire burns wood but tempers steel. I am made of steel." One year for his birthday, his wife gave him a piece of steel with that question engraved in it. He brought that piece of steel to the zone conference for everyone to look at.

That question brought a lot of clarity. It was scary but invigorating at the same time. The answer to that question would include my top priorities, the things I need to do to improve, my greatest yearnings. Really, I have no choice but to seek for and work for all these things. I invite whoever reads this to ask themselves the same question, write down a couple answers to that question and act accordingly. 

And just today, I happened to read a scriptural example of this. I happen to be reading about the stripling warriors in the Book of Mormon and discovered that the reason why they were so powerful is because they never doubted. They didn't even imagine they could fail because they knew the Lord was with them. They attempted and achieved something great (fought an army larger and stronger and more experienced than them and won with 0 fatalities) because they knew they couldn't fail. 

Crazy birds, baptism, culinary adventures, OH MY!

So... my companion asked someone what's with the crazy amount of birds and supposedly that's just what happens this time of year. They're all screaming at each other over the cramped real estate on the power lines and roofs. I think I now know where Alfred Hitchcock got his inspiration... Either that or this is where Pixar got their "Birds" short from. Twang!
 
And I've had a few culinary adventures. I made some sweet potato fries, and some eggy cheesy almost scone like pastries.
And one of the members gave me all the ingredients for chocoflan (chocolate cake with flan on top). It turned out really good, even though it was my first try. Believe it or not, you pour in the flan mixture and the cake batter all in the same pan and it separates as you bake it!
 
And on a more serious note, Aricela got baptized yesterday! She's so ready and she seems like she's already been a member for the last few weeks. The rest of her family is next. :) She reads more than anyone else I've ever taught combined. She's currently in Alma 22. Just like the last baptism back in June, it felt weird/wrong when people would tell us "congratulations!" or saying it was "our baptism". I am perfectly happy and content giving the Lord all the credit, because it really is His. God works in mysterious ways through imperfect people. Even me. And thank goodness! Becuase if he didn't, things would be pure chaos and we wouldn't grow nearly as much. Enough said.
 
There have also been lots of miracles/mind blowing experiences this week. One thing that I don't think I'll ever forget is talking to (or more like listening to) Rene. He was a referral we got from a neighbor and it seemed like we were meant to find him, because he really needs the beautiful message that is the Gospel. He shared with us pretty much his entire life story. He's only 51 years old but has experienced more like 3 lifetimes of trouble and heartache. He had gone through so much, growing up in the southern California ghetto, having so many family problems, having 2 sons in jail for life for murder, being a police officer, his constant efforts to do good and support his family, and not seeing the fruit of his labors most of the time. Through all of that he has such a strong belief in God and knows that Christ has carried him through it all. It was so sad to see him cry and say things like "They say a family that prays together stays together. I have done that all my life and why isn't my family together?" and "I'm tired. I've been through enough and if God told me it was time for me to die, I'd say thank you. I'm just so tired." My heart was going out to him and I was crying too and would have given him a hug if I were allowed to. His sorrow for his sons and for all the other people he sees making terrible choices made me think of God and how He must feel about us when we don't choose Him. Afterwards I was reading Moses 7:26-44 and it has more depth and significance to me now, just seeing God's infinite compassion and how he feels about us, His children. He is so happy when we follow Him, and follow after the nature of happiness (Alma 41:10-11) and so sad when we make bad decisions.
 
Every now and then I think of reasons why I specifically am supposed to serve a mission in this specific place. I think one of them was so I could develop more compassion. Before the mission, I didn't really feel for people. I had/have a hard time expressing my excitement for people when they're excited/happy and was relatively apathetic when people make bad decisions. One one hand, life is easier that way, but on the other, it isn't as rewarding when you don't care/aren't invested. But now, I care more than ever.
 
Anyway, I know that this is God's work and that He's working on both me and those I serve. I know that God loves us so much and that everything He does is so we can come back to live with Him. I know that this gospel is made to help us fulfill our highest potential, and that it's all just so true. I'm not the type to cry when I bear my testimony but I am one to think about it as certainly and concretely as I can say "the world is round".
 
Love you all!
 - Hermana Jarvis