Monday, August 4, 2014
Hard week, but lots of tender mercies too.
Monday, July 28, 2014
revised letter to mission president
This week, I have realized a lot how much I actually have grown. On monday we picked up Hna. Fotu. It's been interesting seeing how I influenced both of the companions I trained. It's comforting to know that I gave both of them a good start. Also, I have started working on my final letter (a fancy handwritten letter I have to write to President Ames before I end my mission), trying to sum up everything I've learned in the last 18 months. There has been a lot of growth just in the act of attempting to sum it all up. I have realized even more that I wouldn't trade the world for the experiences I've had, good and bad. In district meeting, our district leader Elder Hendricks shared a quote with us from a Martin handcart company survivor: "The price was worth it to be acquainted with God". That's exactly how I feel about my mission.
2. A spiritual experience you had this week?
This week it was the lesson we had with a reactivating member to help him feel worthy to enter the temple. He is the sort of person to worry about literally everything and want to be perfect in order to start anything and has a lot of regrets about how things have happened in his life. So we taught him about worthiness and exactly what he need to go to the temple. It was very spirit driven and according to his needs.
3. What successes have you had in reaching your weekly goals?
Both of our investigators with a baptism date came to church! It really does look like we're going to make these baptism dates happen! Also a member, Jose, that's getting reactivated just got his limited use temple recommend on sunday! It's a big step in reaching my personal transfer goals: 1 more baptism, and to go do baptisms for the dead with our member that is going through the 90 day program. I think it really will happen. It will take a lot of work but I am determined to end my mission on a high note.
Monday, July 21, 2014
revised letter to mission president
2. A spiritual experience you had this week?
Where to begin... Here are some of the highlights.
- Santiago came to church. Here's how we found him. We were looking for a former investigator in a body shop where he supposedly worked. We didn't find him, but we found Santiago, Jose, and Andres working in the shop. We initially didn't plan on spending a lot of time there since it wasn't the right shop and we didn't want to take away time from their work. But they offered us water and asked lots of questions about the Church and really opened up to us. Santiago said he wanted to come to church. We left our contact information and set a return appointment. This is a perfect example of being guided by the Spirit to be in the "wrong" place at the right time. I feel bad for this, but I didn't take Santiago seriously when he said he was going to church. After all, we invite everyone to go to church and they almost never show up, especially not if we've just barely met them. And when we went to church, Santiago showed up! He didn't even have his own car to get there, but he made it! It makes me think about my own faith and what I would do in that situation. If I weren't a member and had just met some missionaries a few days ago, would I make that much of an effort to go to church?
- We taught Enrique the Word of Wisdom. It went really well and the Spirit was really strong, and he committed to live it. We brought a 17 year old member with us who was planning on going on a mission. We didn't think too much of it since we missionaries are relatively used to experiences like that. But later that night, the girl who came with us sent us a text thanking us for taking her with us and helping her feel the Spirit so strongly. It was a great reminder that when we take members with us to appointments, it not just for the investigators. It's also for the members.
3. What successes have you had in reaching your weekly goals?
Well, almost everything has been a success! We had 6 people come to church! I've never had that many people come to church before. It blew my mind and it's another one of those moments where I have to wonder "what did I deserve to receive so many blessings?" I really can't attribute it to anything that I did. The glory is not mine, but the Father's. As always, I feel like I'm a spectator to the success we experience. We also contacted nearly twice as many people as we planned, got twice as many new investigators, and gave out twice as many Books of Mormon. I really am so happy to be here in Lewisville and witness this in a place that I once thought was "dead" or "slow".
4. Have you experienced any disappointments and how did you overcome them?
We found out that Juan is going to be moving next week. It's sad because I really did think he would get baptized in the near future and I would be there when it would happen. But I trust that God cares for him much more than I do and that the missionaries will find him in Mexico. But on the bright side, our last lesson with him wasn't contentious or tense like the last couple lessons. He didn't bring up his doubts fueled by anti-Mormon material. And I have more compassion for him now that I understand that he didn't understand the doctrine as well as we thought.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Here's what happened this week!
I'm also really excited to be in Lewisville for my last transfer. It will be a new experience being in 1 area for 7.5 months, but I'm also excited. In Denton and Temple, I didn't stay long enough to see most of the fruits of my efforts, even though I was there for 4.5 and 6 months respectively. But now I think I'll be able to stay and see what happens. We have 2 baptism dates and I really do think I'll be able to see them both get baptized! What a satisfying way to end a mission!
2. A spiritual experience you had this week?
One experience was studying for Juan (name change). In response to the fact that he keeps running into anti-Mormon information in his genuine search for truth, we wanted to teach him that there has always been opposition from Satan (because he knows it's true too) in the restored church, ever since Joseph Smith. I read all of Joseph Smith-history and the opposition is so apparent. It strengthened my testimony of the restoration to remember how much opposition this church has experienced from the beginning. No one seems to care about any other christian church (except for Catholics, maybe). There isn't a huge wealth of anti-Presbyterian or Methodist or Pentacostal information that I know of. Just for Mormons. It's evidence to me that this gospel is so true.
It was also amazing setting our other baptism date with Jose (name change). It's been a joy teaching him because he is so childlike despite being in his 30s. He's so humble, excited to learn, and every time we teach him something he didn't know before he says "Wow! Really?". When the opportunity to set a baptism date for 8/9/14, he responded with the same childlike enthusiasm. It's beautiful and shows me why we need to become like little children.
3. What successes have you had in reaching your weekly goals?
We did well considering we didn't have our car this week, and it takes forever to walk to anyone we're teaching. While it's hard, I do like how going car-less forces us to rely more on members. It really showed in the fact that we had 6 exchanges and 7 member present lessons.
4. Have you experienced any disappointments and how did you overcome them?
Satan's working overtime to make sure that Juan doesn't get to church. And despite our best efforts, we haven't been able to teach him this week. This is making me nervous... And no one came to church. What more can I do for this part of the vineyard??
Monday, June 30, 2014
Revised letter to mission president
I'm getting a little bit better at teaching my companion like I teach the investigators. It's about time since I'm almost done training her...
She's been feeling really inadequate and scared that she's going to be training next transfer. She's scared that she won't be able to continue the work here in Lewisville without me. I think she feels pressure to do everything I do and know everything I know which isn't fair at all since I have a lot more experience. There have been a couple companionship studies where she was so nervous she couldn't think straight and I took the time to teach her that God never gives us more than we can handle, and that even though God's will is often different than our will and tends to stretch us to the limit, God will always give us peace and comfort if we ask for it.
That and I have a slightly better idea of how to correct her. Even though she knows that we go to bed at 10:30, and I always go to bed at 10:30, she kept going to bed later. She was mostly obedient and honestly didn't see the difference between being mostly obedient and exactly obedient. She told me she got a bad impression of "exact obedience" from one of her companions in the MTC. They didn't get along and she was obedient to the T and enforced her interpretation of obedience on everyone else. She also got the impression that the missionaries that are "fun to be around" are not exactly obedient. I really hope she understood when I told her that I don't want her to be exactly obedient because I'm micro-managing or trying to be her mom. I want her to be exactly obedient because obedience is the first law of heaven, and a prerequisite to miracles. I want her to be exactly obedient like the stripling warriors because like them, we need all the help we can get. She wasn't too happy and thought I was worrying about stuff that didn't matter, but at least she knows what I think. She was honestly surprised when I told her that it makes me nervous when she doesn't get to bed on time. It makes me think "what did I do?" or "what did I neglect to do for her?". She didn't understand that in a way, I feel responsible for her and how she turns out. I guess this is a little taste of what parenting is like.
2. A spiritual experience you had this week?
We had a miracle (yet again) with Juan (name change). After interviews, we went with President Pratt (one of the mission president's counselors that speaks spanish) to go teach him. We taught about the Atonement and the spirit was really strong. It was one of those lessons where we felt like spectators to the Lord's work and we were all following the same direction from the Spirit. All 4 of us said just what he needed to hear or understand. President Pratt related baptism to the atonement, the other member (recent convert) we brought with us talked about her experience having a baptism date, and my companion testified that it would be hard, but so worth it. As all 3 of them talked, I had a strong prompting to set a baptism date, over and over. I did it. Usually I'm pretty awkward about setting baptism dates, but this time the Spirit told me what to say and it came out of my mouth easily. And the miraculous part? Juan said yes! We had invited him to be baptized several times before, but this time he offered no resistance and he knew that was what he was supposed to do. He knows what he needs to do and how he's going to get there. Wow!
Monday, June 23, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
Testimony and the obtaining thereof
Preface: I've been thinking about this for a while and couldn't really put my finger on how I got it. So I thought I'd write it down to get my thoughts organized. Enjoy!
How did I gain my testimony?
I was born in the church to goodly parents, and have gone to church since I was a baby. The vast majority of my family/extended family are active members too. I am familiar with the doctrine, traditions, procedures, etc. but all that wasn't and isn't enough to have my own testimony. I can't think of any one moment when I knew for myself that it was true. It grew over time.
At first, I found my testimony in the fact that it the church/gospel is good, and has blessed my life. Then I realized that it intellectually makes sense. Then I based my testimony on the fact that it has also blessed the life of many others. As I read the scriptures, every once in a while, I found a scripture that resonated with me and was just so…true! Either that or every once in a while I would be in church and the talks or the classes resonated with me and felt right.
When I was a teenager, I lived in Virginia, where the vast majority of the kids in middle and high school weren't religious or appreciative of sacred things. I was one of about 6 members, and we weren't exactly a tight knit group. It was in that time that my testimony was strengthened because it was questioned and ridiculed all the time. Every time I defended my beliefs, I realized more and more that I actually do believe this and it would be a HUGE mistake to throw it away. I wasn't very good about personal prayer or scripture study, but I did cling to church and youth activities even though I didn't really have friends there. It was definitely divine providence that I was called to be Beehive, Mia Maid, and Laurel president so I felt obligated to come to church and activities even when I didn't feel like it or have a good support system with the youth.
Also, in the online communities I participated in, it was common for people to ask "If you're so smart, why in the world are you Mormon?". I felt obligated to prove to them that the church was true and show how it makes sense. But that didn't work, and I started to realize that you have to know by the Spirit, not my logic alone, that it is true. I eventually learned that I am not obligated to prove anything, because all the physical/intellectual evidence in the world isn't enough. What a relief!
The next thing that cemented my testimony/was the start of my conversion was studying the scriptures and praying on my own on a regular basis. Sure, I studied the scriptures in seminary and was pretty familiar with them, but it hadn't turned into a habit. I kept finding scriptures that helped me in my life and came to know that I actually could talk to God about what was going on in my life. That culminated into a few amazing experiences to help me not only believe, but know.
The other thing that helped immensely was going to college. It was the best decision I had made up to that point to go to BYU-I, a spiritual sanctuary where "all things are spiritual" no matter what the subject is. It's ok to pray in class and talk about the gospel. It also required a lot of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual independence. I had to set my own spiritual routine, eg. How often to go to the temple, when to study the scriptures, how often to pray, how to keep the Sabbath day holy. It was also in that time that I learned the meaning of the word, "grace". In all the times that I was faced with a project and not enough time or strength to do it, I learned to rely on the Lord and experience His grace or empowerment. I had a testimony of everything but the most basic part, Jesus Christ as my Savior and Redeemer, and the one who can strengthen me in all things because He has already experienced it all. He is the one who carries me when I am weak, and heals me when I am feeling broken and dysfunctional.
All of these experiences strengthened my faith to the point that I could go forward with faith and act even though I wasn't entirely sure where I was going. It was that trust that the Lord wouldn't let me go astray if I was keeping the commandments and doing my best that led me to send in my mission papers. I hadn't seen a light from heaven telling me to go, but after I got started, I knew more and more that this is the best decision I ever made.
The mission is/has been really hard, for more reasons than I expected getting into this. But it has strengthened me even more. Now I cling to my covenants and God's promises for dear life. I see miracles on an almost daily basis. The gift of tongues is real. I have seen the power of the gospel to change people (myself included). I can see a glimpse of what God has prepared for those who wait on him (Isaiah 64:4).
I've pretty much always had a testimony but as of the last few years, I can feel that knowledge changing me. I can honestly say that my first convert is myself. I'm a lot happier and optimistic than before and feel ready to face whatever the Lord sets before me to strengthen my faith even more. The future is so bright you need sunglasses.
I know that this is Christ's church, and that through Him, we can be clean and free to progress. I know that God restored this church through Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon is the beautiful evidence. I know that we are children of God with incomprehensible potential, and that if we trust in Him, He will lead us there.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Letter to the mission president, and then some
Lately I've been reading my scriptures only in Spanish. Why not? I'm at the point where I can understand it almost as well as I do English. It's been a great experience and I like how I get to look at the scriptures in a new way when it's in a new language.
2. A spiritual experience you had this week?
I was so proud of my companion, Hna. Jensen this week. She invited an investigator to be baptized for the first time! The Spirit was really strong and it was great to see her feel the spirit as she invited, and affirm to her that this is what the mission is all about, preparing ourselves so we can feel the spirit, and get those we teach to feel the Spirit and act accordingly. It's about leading people to baptism and beyond. It's moments like this that remind me "This is what it's all about". I feel the same way when I go to baptismal services, take the sacrament, go to the temple, and overall do what my Heavenly Father would want me to do.
3. What successes have you had lately?
Well, I'm not exactly proud of the number of lessons we had (I don't understand why it's so hard to find and teach people here), but the ratio between member present lessons and other lessons was more like what it should be (4-3). And the lessons we did have were high quality. And a less active member came back to church for the 2nd time and it looks like he's going to start coming on a regular basis! He really liked it and he really wants to be sealed to his family, serve a mission with his wife one day, etc.
Also, we have been working more with the members, particularly the spanish speakers in the english wards in our stake, since we don't have too many members to work with in our area.
4. Have you experienced any disappointments and how did you overcome them?
Another of our solid investigators dropped us. This time it hurt more than any other time when an investigator dropped us because I loved her so much, and she was saying such terrible things about most of the things I hold dear and sacred (like Joseph Smith, temples, church leadership, Book of Mormon, the role of women in the church, all sorts of anti-Mormon misinformation). At the time I was so angry I didn't dare say anything because I knew I wouldn't have said anything nice (not that she would have let us get a word in anyway). So I was just sitting there while Hna. Jensen was crying and bearing an incredible heartfelt testimony in broken Spanish. But, on the bright side, every time we lose an investigator we have more time to find other people who are more ready. And luckily for me, I always feel better, calmer, and more optimistic after taking a nap. Life goes on. This was one of those times where I was glad that I am more detached by nature. I don't let things bother me much. But at the same time, sometimes I want to care more or cry when people expect me to cry but I just don't. Like an old dysfunctional car that just won't start. But oh well.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Life is good!
- So... in our mission we get a weekly email from the mission office with a bunch of key indicator data (how many lessons, baptisms etc) and I found out that 2 people got baptized in Temple, my old area!! Most likely they're people I've taught before so my mind is spinning thinking about who might have been baptized. It doesn't get much better than the euphoria of seeing or hearing about someone you taught/helped getting baptized. D&C 18:15-16 case in point.
- Got in a car accident. It's nothing huge to worry about since it didn't involve another car and no one got hurt (beside the car). No worries, I wasn't the one driving. But yeah. There's a huge scrape on the side of the car, and it's probably going to go into the body shop soon so we might be doing a lot of walking/getting rides...
- on friday, I had one of the most jam-packed days of my life. 2 service projects, 2 lessons, 1 exchange, and 1 awesome day. I've never been so happy to go to bed at 10:30.
- People came to church!!! That hasn't happened here in the last few months! A whole family came to church and they liked it. They all even got haircuts just to go to church.
- we have some amazing members here. For example, yesterday we had dinner with a family that joined the church 3 years ago. They're super active, have been sealed in the temple, have so many desires to help us with the work, and the gospel is definitely the center of their lives.
- I turned 13 months old on thursday. Time is going too fast and I still have a hard time seeing myself as one of those "seasoned veterans" I looked up to not too long ago.
- awkward moment of the month: We came for a teaching appointment with one of our investigators. She invited us in and we soon found out that we were stuck in a 2 hour sales presentation for a $1200 juicer. No joke. I felt so awkward there because we couldn't teach, and we couldn't just leave. And we couldn't possibly buy anything. And to make the whole situation more surreal, it was all in Argentine spanish (the sales reps were from Argentina, pretty interesting accent). But at least we got free serving spoons!
- new food of the week: Rayas. They're sauteed strips of poblano peppers with corn topped with a creamy sauce. I'd recommend looking it up. Pretty yummy healthy Mexican food.
Monday, March 10, 2014
February update
Monday, January 27, 2014
Pretty Interesting Person Profile (1/2/14)
Giant update for the month of January 2014
- read the Book of Mormon in Spanish
- read the Doctrine and Covenants in English
- run 1 mile (or at least 15 minutes cardio something if my companion won't run with me) every day (even after the mission) (Pardon the parentheses)
- look for an opportunity to serve each day
- Higher quality prayers
- wake up and start over if I find myself getting drowsy
- pray to be filled with charity every day
- to talk to God about how things went that day and ask Him for help with the things that were left undone/not done well